Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Sting of Rejection

This blog is addressed to a specific someone.

Dear Guy Who Went on a Car Window Smashing Spree on My Street,

Rude. That was tremendously rude. I walked down the street this morning over all of your broken glass. Window after window smashed in every car on the side of the street. But then…what’s this?

My car is completely unharmed.

That cuts deep, Window Smasher. Clearly you have a keen understanding of the human psyche and knew that, by excluding me from your spree, you would inflict a grievous emotional wound.

Was my car window unfit to be smashed, Window Smasher? Is my car already too lame? Could you not even bring yourself to vandalize such a pathetic machine?

Well let me just say that my car and I do not need your pity. We will do just fine with all four of our windows.

I hope you think about what you’ve done. Remember what it felt like to be picked last for dodgeball? I don’t. People always say that though. I was always picked first for dodgeball because I’m nimble and I have a deceptively low center of gravity…but that’s neither here nor there.

The point is—you not smashing my window was really uncalled for. How would you feel if I tracked you down, found your car, and then didn’t break your window? Quite upset, I think.

How about showing a bit of compassion next time?

Wisdom by Warren:
You should be happy. There is currently no proof that you aren’t immortal.


Blogger Alexander McIlvaine said...

If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you buddy! What a jerk!

August 9, 2010 at 6:28 PM  
Anonymous Ariel said...

maybe you always got picked first for dodge ball because of your behemoth calves...just sayin

August 11, 2010 at 9:50 AM  

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