Thursday, July 22, 2010


Hi there! Reader, I’m worried that you might be starting to think I’m a pessimist. I certainly don’t blame you. Listen to me ranting about heat, traffic and monsters.

That’s quite contrary to my actual personality, though. I’m an unfailing optimist. As a matter of fact, it borders on delusion. One of my favorite activities is to take an unquestionably unfortunate situation and attempt to turn it into a ironic coincidence, or unexpected opportunity. My girlfriend (Aimee, so that I don’t have to keep referencing her this way) can attest to this annoying habit. Regardless of who you are or what has happened, I will reject your grievance and propose a reason for you to be thankful.

You got fired?

Thank goodness. Now you’re free to explore all of your other career options!

Your wallet was stolen?

Good thing. Now you won’t invest that money in the stock market and be consumed by crippling depression when it crashes again in thirty years!

Your dog has a potentially fatal illness?

I’m just glad he won’t have to witness the robot revolution and the subsequent enslavement of all biological species. He’s a dog, so he probably wouldn’t understand what was happening.

See? I’m looking at the big picture. So if you ever need some perspective, give me a shout and I’ll help you understand why it’s a good thing that, due to a clerical error, your bank account has disappeared and it will take at least 8 months to fix the problem.

Wisdom by Warren:
Give a man a fish, and he will be sincerely confused.


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